Adriana S.
Adriana S. British Colombia, Canada
I am now three months into the Achieve Today program and an enormous change has occurred. Doubt, self-loathing, panic, guilt, shame, and a small game are not a part of my daily life anymore. They still appear, but have very little power, are almost a source of amusement, and are easily and lovingly cleared almost immediately. I can quickly recognize when I am engaging in ‘what if’ down and I shift quickly into ‘as if’ up. It is even becoming an unthinking way of being.
The weeks prior to signing up with Achieve Today were wrought with feelings of guilt that I wasn’t bringing in enough money, that I was putting financial strain on my partner, that my business wasn’t worthy, that I would have to give it up despite loving it, and go back to work for someone else. The only reason I did not start job-hunting was that I knew that would be the end of me. I knew I would shrivel if I gave up. I know my life purpose, I know I make an enormous difference to others when I work with them, and quite simply, giving up my work/play passion was giving up on life. Some spark told me that I hadn’t gone as far as I could.
This down energy kept me home rather than putting out my flyers, writing presentations, taking action, or seeing inspirations that I know now were coming to me. I saw one way to build my business and I didn’t have money to do anything about it.
I came to Joe via the Secret Mirror Facebook post. I clicked on it, took a chance, and signed up. I paid $99 on a VISA card that was almost wracked and that had been weighing on me terribly. I didn’t tell my partner out of shame for spending money we didn’t have. Somewhere deep inside something shifted when I watched one of the participants in the Secret Mirror video. The gentleman (I have searched for this name, but I can’t find it) who was made a go-between in financial matters between his father and mother touched me deeply. I’m not sure why because my parents didn’t do that, but as I watched him I was moved. I walked into my bathroom and started to do a simple affirmation (advice I had given often, but never taken) and before I could speak I was sobbing. I was absolutely shocked! At that moment I was in complete breakdown. ‘I can’t even say something nice to myself in the mirror’ led to ‘I am so full of self-loathing that I can’t face myself in the mirror’! At that moment I think I was at my very lowest point, and I imagine that I will remember that moment for the rest of my life, not as a breakdown, but as the moment my life changed. In coming to terms with my self-loathing I was able to look at it, choose whether I wanted to stay there, or clear it. I walked back to the computer, watched the rest of the video, and was sure to my soul that I had found exactly what I needed.
Now I had to set aside all of my beliefs and feelings around not deserving, not wanting to be a burden, not being enough, and do the enrollment call with my partner. My Perfect Partner does not share my view about not contributing, not being enough, being a burden. He loves and trusts me implicitly, listened to Jared, had a moment of concern about putting a large amount on his credit, and agreed to go forward with Achieve Today. His story is another one for the books, and he hasn’t even participated in the program. He is now playing a huge game and is taking action every day. And he says I inspire him!
When I started the program I was frustrated with two things. I knew I had, but couldn’t identify any counter-intentions or beliefs, and I didn’t have any questions for the resource line. In working with Greg, I identified through feelings my guilt, my shame, my anxiety, my lack of worthiness. I was given tools to clear them and started to work on them. Ho’opono’pono was incredibly freeing for me. I had fun and experienced some clearing with the other methods, but those four little lines have blown the socks off my life. Learning to live in love for others as well as myself has opened up a whole new level of energy inside me. Without examining things as closely and just allowing myself to feel love, I created so much room for new beliefs and thinking. I fall down, engage in negative conversations, but they end quickly, I forgive myself, acknowledge to the other that I am out of integrity and shift back to my essentially loving self.
My journey thus far has been crazy! One wonderful connection after another has brought everything I need to make what I am speaking and envisioning a reality. I still have traces of inertia, get stuck and feel powerless. I am currently in daily pain and I realize that I have allowed ‘what if down’ to creep in. I am moving forward with a medical process that, until today I have had no faith in. I understand that Nevilizing is my tool for a brilliant outcome. I also understand that Achieve Today needs to be a daily for me. My pain is deep, but it is a journey for which I am ready, prepared and supported. My story ‘never following through’ is falling away and being replaced with ‘I love what I do and I do it with total joy’.
Over the last three weeks I have been on so many journeys. On my last call with you, your ‘purple dog’ comment touched me deeply. I know that I am doing something really different and your validation of my uniqueness took me to heights I have never felt before. As I left our conversation, and your request for a bio, I was the happiest I ever remember feeling. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that no matter what nothing was going to be the same I don’t know how my big game looks exactly, but I know I will speak to millions, I will develop my Shining Goddess Clearing brand and concept into a huge, lucrative and life changing business, both for my clients and my future staff. That I will write a book, participate in workshops and seminars, and be a voice for the Shift that is happening all over the world. There is no going back now. it’s all just too good.
My pain has been depleting, but to continue to pay my bills I helped two of my friends with cleaning companies over the last few weeks. This was a terrible strain on my body, but I also enjoyed meeting people and making a difference to how they feel in their homes. I also welcomed a new grandchild on the Solstice so much of my time was spent recuperating physically and mentally, but in the areas of coaching others, I was connecting in beautiful ways. I would get to the end of the day frustrated that I didn’t get on Achieve Today or work on my website, but I was making a difference in a big way.
My story is one of success, but not of financial success. I know it is there, I feel it’s imminence, I know that action is needed, I’m embarking on my medical journey with a pivotal doctor’s appointment tomorrow, and daily Achieve Today is critical to my financial success. Anxiety, frustration, doubt, they all still show up, but they are now kind of weak and wobbly, and don’t stay for long. For this I am deeply grateful. In this I know that I can do anything. Here and now it is all quite perfect!
But I still need some accountability assistance and ass kicking, however that looks.
I am sending a picture that captures one of my happiest moments. I had just completed my Nia Green Belt and was standing on the Anacortes ferry about to leave Port Townsend, Washington for home. I was truly in JOY.