3 Questions to Ask Yourself When You're Being Too Hard on Yourself
Updated: Jan 18, 2019
If you’re a perfectionist, or simply want the best life for yourself, it’s easy to become self-critical. When you’ve invested so much into your own self growth and potential, it can become glaringly obvious where you still need to grow, improve and expand into your potential.
But when you fall into the self-critical trap, your inner voice and its monologue of critiques and judgments can cripple your journey towards self-improvement. That negative dialogue can undo all the hard work you’ve poured into your own joy, happiness and self-discovery.
It’s important to strike a healthy balance between being introspective and aware of areas of your life that need improvement, and being critical and negative towards yourself. The former can help you identify new areas of potential for your self-improvement. The latter can destroy you.
The next time you feel you’re coming down too hard on yourself, or being too judgmental or self-critical, use the following questions to help gain some healthy perspective on your life and your journey.
1. What is one goal, skill or process that you've been working on, even if you haven't been as consistent as you hoped for?
It’s easy to set a goal and, when you miss it, feel like it was all for nothing. “I’m going to journal every day” or “I’m going to eat healthier” are common all-or-nothing goals, but the important thing to realize is that it isn’t all or nothing!
Take a look at the goal or process you’ve devoted yourself to. What is one positive outcome, or one good thing that has come out of it even if you haven’t been able to be as rigorous or committed to the goal as you’d initially hoped?
Once you identify the good that’s come from this goal, you can see that your struggle with committing to it doesn’t mean the entire goal or journey was worthless. And that can help you to commit to it a little more, in order to see a little more results, and achieve a little more in your journey.
2. What’s one commitment that paid off long after you accomplished the task?
If you’re feeling the pressure of “getting it done,” or if you’re a perfectionist who struggles with being self-critical, it’s easy to look at a task or process and think, “Well, that’s not paying off.” Whether it’s taking a course, or reading a self-help blog like this one, or buying a self-improvement book, you might think it isn’t worth the time and trouble because you’re not seeing the results.
Take a look back at your journey. What is one task that paid off in dividends long after your task was complete? Maybe it was a pay raise after putting in the time and effort into taking classes to improve your skills. Maybe it’s a rejuvenated relationship after investing in a self-improvement course on healthy boundaries.
Whatever it is, acknowledging that results sometimes take time can help diminish the negativity of this sort of self-criticism.
3. Could you possibly be wrong?
It takes strength and boldness to recognize that you might not always be right. This includes that negative internal self-dialogue! Take a look at the inner critiques you’re giving yourself, and acknowledge that while this voice is loud and strong, it might be completely wrong.
Simply knowing that your self-judgment might be misplaced can help you shift to a healthier perspective.
If you need help changing that internal dialogue; then click here to get a FREE 45-Minute Call with a coaching consultant at Achieve Today. They'll walk you through your goals, help you understand why you might be stuck, and give you some solid solutions to your problems.
References:
3. https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/foods-that-fight-inflammation