Whether you’re just dating or you’re married, relationships take work. They take time. They take blood, sweat and tears. They require each individual in the relationship to bring their A-game.

But all healthy, strong relationships also have a few commonalities. Today, let’s discuss four perspectives that you can embody to experience a healthier, stronger and more love-filled relationship.

1. Learn to Appreciate Your Differences

When you were younger, you might have fallen for the idea that the best couples are alike with many shared interests and passions and ideas. And while somewhat true, it’s truly our differences that give many relationships their spark and strength.

You see, we’re all stronger through diversity. In a healthy relationship, each partner brings something new to the table that complements or adds to the other person’s skills, talents and interests.

In this way, two people “complete” each other. Rather than pressuring your partner to be like you or to do life in a certain way, celebrate each other’s differences. Support and enjoy your diversity. Out of this, you as a couple have more resources and strategies to build a happy relationship and a happy life.

2. Give the Other Person What He/She Wants

As you grow together as a couple, explore and discover what your partner wants out of life. What kind of lifestyle? What kinds of emotions and feelings does he want to experience more of? What types of people does she want in her life? What kind of job would she find most fulfilling? What would his best day look like?

Then, work with your partner to help him or her achieve this thing they desire. Love is an action, and helping your partner experience fulfillment and life’s purpose is one of the most loving actions you can give.

3. Be Fully Present and Aware

“Love doesn’t commit suicide,” says Diane Sollee. “We have to kill it. Though, it’s true that it often simply dies of our neglect.”

Most relationships end not because of specific problems, but because one or both of the people in the relationship neglected to pour their energy and time into investing in the relationship. Be fully present when you’re with your partner, and pay attention to the things that need to be cared for in your personal relationship.

Care and nurture for your bond, and you’ll strengthen that connection.

4. Take Care of Yourself

It might feel like you’re doing a nice, sacrificial thing by putting so much energy into your partner or into the relationship that you neglect your own physical, mental and emotional health. But your well-being is critical to your happiness, your ability to invest in and protect the relationship, and your ability to support your partner.

When you’re firmly grounded in your own well-being and strength, you don’t crush the other person with your worries or fears or stress. You’re a source of strength for the partnership. You’re confident in yourself, which allows you to voice your needs and also receive feedback in a healthy, positive way.

In this way, self-care is just as foundationally crucial as relationship care.

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